Eggs in a Basket: Limbo is a Sad and Rotten Place to Be (Updated)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Limbo is a Sad and Rotten Place to Be (Updated)

my hcg did not double. TFC expects to see a rise of 1.6 times the original number in 48 hours, and that didn't happen either. according to this calculator, my doubling time is over 4 days. this is not good. my progesterone and estrogen levels are skyrocketing, so they're taking me off those meds, which scares the ever living shit out of me. i expect to be bleeding by sunday.

it's not looking good. i'm EXTREMELY sad. please keep your crossables crossed that something miraculous happens.

(UPDATE) i was wrong about my number wednesday and today. wednesday, i was too ecstatic to hear properly over the blood rushing through my ears/heart/brain. today, i had a VERY upset toddler in my lap and misheard the number. so the original number is 216 and today's number is 331. this still isn't great as it is not a doubling number (doubling time is 3.24 days rather than the 4.48 i originally calculated). also, it does not meet the TFC standard of a 1.6 x original # rise (that number would be 345, so i'm off by several points). we are going to TRY to remain optimistic and to hold out hope, but it's not an ideal picture.

2 comments:

Dawn said...: Oh Lori, I wish I was near my old Day Timer to look at my Victor numbers but I swear that I wasn't in the OK range either and then it turned around (but not until closer to 7 weeks). Don't give up hope yet please!

I am thinking about you and hoping that things look up at the next draw! Everything is crossed.; March 8, 2008 4:08 PM
Courtney said...: I am sending out the most positive thoughts that I possibly can in hopes that your numbers keep climbing and that everything is okay. Hugs to you. :); March 10, 2008 7:24 AM

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Journey Recap

08/04 Get Married. We already know that we're facing IF treatments to start our family.
08/04 thru 11/04 Think about IF treatments with excitement and awe. We actually spent most of our time joking around about how we'd have multiples.
11/04 Start the IF Roller Coaster - First doctor tells us to pursue a method of treatment that we know won't work for us. He knows it, too, but insists on 2 or 3 consultations before finally referring us to another RE. We wasted about 2 months with this doctor. The only thing he did for us was tentatively diagnose me with PCOS based on cluster of folicles he saw on my baseline sono.
01/05 Change doctors and start first IVF stim cycle. This cycle was HORRID. Dr put me on too high a dosage of folicle stimulating drugs, changed my schedule multiple times, ok'd me for travel, un-ok'd me for travel 2 hrs later (I was already on the plane), moved my retrieval up 4 days, retrieved 28 eggs, transferred 3 8-cell embies, got a positive pregnancy test, had low beta HCG numbers, but he told me i was definitely pregnant, 2 weeks later i wasn't pregnant according to a msg on my work VM, doctor told us none of the embies survived to blast/none were cryovacked, found out a week later that one embie had made it to blast and was on ice. Deal with severe OHSS during all this (no support from Dr. Nurse from another clinic provides urgent care help for this part of the disaster).
05/05 Change doctors AGAIN. This time, we are at Texas Fertility Center and we'r seeing Dr. Vaughn. We are VERY happy with this move. We start prep for FET cycle. I have a very sad/negative attitude, sure it won't work, just doing it to make hubby happy/keep him off my back about another fresh IVF cycle.
06/05 Transfer goes well. I leave the hospital with an incredibly euphoric/sure feeling that this was it.
07/05 Spotting. Ultrasound shows two pregnancy sacks, but only one has a baby in it. We lost a twin. We FREAKED...we thought they'd transferred the wrong kiddo. Turns out that the bug split, but her twin didn't implant correctly, and we lost her.
08/05 Finally exit the first trimester and allow myself to feel happy and excited. Gain weight like crazy.
09/05 thru 01/06 Enjoy an incredible pregnancy. Love every minute of it (ignorance is bliss). Around week 28, i develop high BP, headaches, and blurred vision. 2 weeks later, I start developing shooting pains under my right breast. I chalk it all off to work stress and bad eating habits. By week 32, my BP was coming up too high. Demanded weekly checks. Doc agreed for 3 weeks, and then released me to be on a normal prenatal exam schedule. I didn't trust this and got my BP checked weekly at my gym. Week 35 I feel bad, get my BP checked, and after 2 normal checks, it skyrockets. I go to the Dr and am diagnosed with severe preeclampsia; liver and kidney damage, high BP, bad headache. I'm induced that day, but the bug's not born until 2 days later in an emergency C-section. Lost 4 liters of blood, crashed repeatedly for about 16 hours, recovered, went home, found out I had a dangerous UTI that cultured with hospital grade bacteria (bad. very bad. could kill me and the bug). I go back into the hospital 2 more times and then end up pushing meds through a hep lock at home for 10 days before I finally get the all clear.
01/06 thru present day Enjoy mothering the most amazing little person in the world. I love every minute of it and feel incredibly blessed to be here!

Blogs I Like to Read

these are blogs i read nearly every day. i don't know these people. i read their blogs because i can relate to the writers, and i learn a lot from them. not to knock Resolve or the friendships i made in the Resolve support group i found in austin, but i wish i'd found these blogs, or some like them, about 3 years ago.