another one opens.
i am hearby declaring this blog dormant. this blog has been my place to vent about my infertility journey, my pregnancy, and then the birth of my beautiful boy. it's time to move forward and concentrate on the goings on of both of my children. i no longer consider myself an infertile...how could i with two beautiful kids? this blog has been a healer for me...a good place to let off steam that i don't want to poison my everyday life with. as such, it has served it's purpose, but now that purpose is finished.
please join us over at http://theloyalsubjects.blogspot.com/. i am also making livie's baby blog dormant/historical and will be chronicling the journey with both kids at this new address. we look forward to seeing you on the other side! (there will be lots of pics of both kiddos and updates about their growth and their goings on!)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A Mug Shot
quinn chilling out after his first in-the-water-bath in the kitchen sink (which is why he's maxin' and relaxin' in a towel on the kitchen counter :-)here are 10 things about quinn
10 he smells heavenly...even when he doesn't :-)
9 he has the most adorable dimple in his left cheek
8 his hair is a soft auburn that looks fire red in the sunlight
7 he has big blue eyes with long, curly red eyelashes
6 he has SUPER long arms and legs. his arms are so long that they are not completely covered by any of his long-sleeved outfits
5 he has the cutest little monkey feet. seriously...these are some tree-climbing feet!
4 he likes to be awake and looking around much of the day.
3 he seriously detests his car seat for the first 20 minutes he's in it. then he passes out cold and will stay out for a long time.
2 he doesn't like to be worn (yet). he doesn't like to be smooshed against my chest when he can be looking at something so much more interesting.
1 he loves to hear livie's voice. his eyes seem to look around for her when he hears her, and on occasion, her voice stops his cries.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Fizz Fizz, Oh What a Relief it Is!!!
here's the strangest blog post you will ever read. I CAN PEE! I CAN PEE! I CAN PEE! oh, happy day! I CAN PEE!!!
see, that was strange, no?
i got the catheter out at 9 am, peed like a pro at 9:05, and am so freakin' happy that i can't stop grinning or doing a happy dance. seriously. what a relief! i was able to pick livie up and hug/hold her for the first time in WEEKS. that was an amazing feeling. i was even able to play ring around the rosie (it's the little things, you know?).
here's to healed bladders and talented urologists (raising an imaginary glass of something 80 proof ;-p)...
i have just a couple more checks with the urologist, one more check with my endocrinologist to check on my diabetes status, and one more check with the OB (i will not be going back to her after this check...she's FIRED). and then, we can close the chapter on all this and look only forward.
see, that was strange, no?
i got the catheter out at 9 am, peed like a pro at 9:05, and am so freakin' happy that i can't stop grinning or doing a happy dance. seriously. what a relief! i was able to pick livie up and hug/hold her for the first time in WEEKS. that was an amazing feeling. i was even able to play ring around the rosie (it's the little things, you know?).
here's to healed bladders and talented urologists (raising an imaginary glass of something 80 proof ;-p)...
i have just a couple more checks with the urologist, one more check with my endocrinologist to check on my diabetes status, and one more check with the OB (i will not be going back to her after this check...she's FIRED). and then, we can close the chapter on all this and look only forward.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The Rest of the Story
it occurs to me that i have left out a lot of details over the last few weeks. let's start with the fun ones!
regarding quinn's birth, i had many reasons for wanting to try a VBAC, and among them was the opportunity to experience a real labor. i didn't get one of those with livie since my labor was induced.
on monday, 11/3 (my mom's bday), my contractions changed drastically (i had been havng BH constantly since 31 weeks). i was no longer able to walk or talk through them starting at 8 that morning. i was still having them very sporadically, so i didn't call the doc. at 3 pm that day, i started to have bloody show. i went to bed at 11 that night, but could not sleep b/c the contractions were coming faster and harder. by 1:15 tuesday morning, i realized that i was bleeding more and decided to call in. they had me come to the hospital, and the nurse and OB in triage determined i was in active labor and dilated to 3 cm. my labor actually went pretty fast in terms of getting to 10 cm. my water broke (on its own) at 7:45 that morning and i was dilated to 10 just before noon. the problem was that i stayed at 10 cm for HOURS without making any progress getting quinn down the birth canal. in the very end, he did get wedged under my pelvic bones (and he still has the bruises to prove it), but my old c/s scar had trapped him by his chest and could not complete his exit.
regarding the bladder rupture...it's nearly 100% certain that i had bladder damage after the c/s, but my bladder did not fully rupture until tuesday, 11/11. it was 5:30 a.m., and i'd just finished feeding quinn. i was sitting in the corner of our secional sofa upstairs (deep sofa), and was doing that scoot, scoot, twist, stand-up maneuver we all do when we try to get off a couch with a baby in our arms. well, when i stood up, i felt a horrible pain in my stomach...felt like someone had dragged a knife down my stomach starting at the top of my ribs. fortunately, i did not drop quinn, but i could barely move. i shuffled back to our bedroom to ask josh to help me. by this point, i was shaking, sweating, and crying uncontrollably...the pain was immense. i tried to walk it off and even tried taking a hot shower...the pain just got worse. i asked josh to call 911 around 6. we live less than a mile from the fire station, so they got there quick. the ride in the ambulance was HORRIFIC. my BP shot up to 185/105 and i could barely breathe (lying down was excruciatingly painful). by the time i got to the ER, my heart was going haywire and my BP continued to skyrocket. after many shots of morphine, blood draws, a CT scan, and a bunch of nurses and doctors freaking out, i was rushed into surgery (after signing consent forms for a hysterectomy b/c they thought my uterus had ruptured again). the surgery entailed fixing my uterus, which had opened up again, and doing an extensive repair on my bladder...it was apparenlty a severe rupture. i had to stay in the hospital as long as i did b/c of the issues with my heart and to be watched for abdominal infection/abscesses b/c of my abdomen being full of urine for 5 hours. my kidneys have recoverd (was in kidney failure when i was first hospitalized), my bladder has healed, and i'm infection free. the only residual issue i have is with my heart. there is still fluid around it. no one knows why...i will prolly go see a cardiologist in the next few weeks to either get a clean bill of health or find out what the next step is (there's risk of the fluid becoming infected).
suffice it to say that i now have an unnatural fear of our red couch. and, i have to admit that this whole thing seemed so random to me that i keep waiting for some other part of my body to rupture. seriously. i have dreams (nightmares) about it.
regarding quinn's birth, i had many reasons for wanting to try a VBAC, and among them was the opportunity to experience a real labor. i didn't get one of those with livie since my labor was induced.
on monday, 11/3 (my mom's bday), my contractions changed drastically (i had been havng BH constantly since 31 weeks). i was no longer able to walk or talk through them starting at 8 that morning. i was still having them very sporadically, so i didn't call the doc. at 3 pm that day, i started to have bloody show. i went to bed at 11 that night, but could not sleep b/c the contractions were coming faster and harder. by 1:15 tuesday morning, i realized that i was bleeding more and decided to call in. they had me come to the hospital, and the nurse and OB in triage determined i was in active labor and dilated to 3 cm. my labor actually went pretty fast in terms of getting to 10 cm. my water broke (on its own) at 7:45 that morning and i was dilated to 10 just before noon. the problem was that i stayed at 10 cm for HOURS without making any progress getting quinn down the birth canal. in the very end, he did get wedged under my pelvic bones (and he still has the bruises to prove it), but my old c/s scar had trapped him by his chest and could not complete his exit.
regarding the bladder rupture...it's nearly 100% certain that i had bladder damage after the c/s, but my bladder did not fully rupture until tuesday, 11/11. it was 5:30 a.m., and i'd just finished feeding quinn. i was sitting in the corner of our secional sofa upstairs (deep sofa), and was doing that scoot, scoot, twist, stand-up maneuver we all do when we try to get off a couch with a baby in our arms. well, when i stood up, i felt a horrible pain in my stomach...felt like someone had dragged a knife down my stomach starting at the top of my ribs. fortunately, i did not drop quinn, but i could barely move. i shuffled back to our bedroom to ask josh to help me. by this point, i was shaking, sweating, and crying uncontrollably...the pain was immense. i tried to walk it off and even tried taking a hot shower...the pain just got worse. i asked josh to call 911 around 6. we live less than a mile from the fire station, so they got there quick. the ride in the ambulance was HORRIFIC. my BP shot up to 185/105 and i could barely breathe (lying down was excruciatingly painful). by the time i got to the ER, my heart was going haywire and my BP continued to skyrocket. after many shots of morphine, blood draws, a CT scan, and a bunch of nurses and doctors freaking out, i was rushed into surgery (after signing consent forms for a hysterectomy b/c they thought my uterus had ruptured again). the surgery entailed fixing my uterus, which had opened up again, and doing an extensive repair on my bladder...it was apparenlty a severe rupture. i had to stay in the hospital as long as i did b/c of the issues with my heart and to be watched for abdominal infection/abscesses b/c of my abdomen being full of urine for 5 hours. my kidneys have recoverd (was in kidney failure when i was first hospitalized), my bladder has healed, and i'm infection free. the only residual issue i have is with my heart. there is still fluid around it. no one knows why...i will prolly go see a cardiologist in the next few weeks to either get a clean bill of health or find out what the next step is (there's risk of the fluid becoming infected).
suffice it to say that i now have an unnatural fear of our red couch. and, i have to admit that this whole thing seemed so random to me that i keep waiting for some other part of my body to rupture. seriously. i have dreams (nightmares) about it.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Let's Put some "P" in the Ool, Shall We?!
first of all, thank you to cheryl for keeping this blog updated for me! also, thank you so much to all of you who have left me sweet voice mails, emails, and comments. i apologize for the lack of response...we're buried over here, and it's not likely we'll dig out anytime soon. i choke every time i see the amount of junk mail i have to purge to get to the good stuff in my email. and, even in the best of times, i am quite phone challenged (i seersee hate to talk on the phone).
so, here's a little status update. josh is doing better and better. he has pleurissy, which is related to his pneumonia, but it's subsiding slowly and his pain is decreasing slowly. my biggest fear right now is that he will overwork/stress himself right back into full blown pneumonia. it's my job to nag him into NOT doing that :-)
my recovery continues to plod along. i still have the catheter. correction...i have a new catheter. i had two appointments on tuesday...one to shoot dye into my bladder and x-ray it to check for position and for leaks. i passed that test with flying colors. so, they took my catheter out. OH SWEET RELIEF!!!! i then had another appointment 3.5 hours later for a general check up with my urologist. well, in that 3.5 hours, i was unable to pee. i also could not feel that my bladder was full nor did i have any urges to pee. all of this was quite suspicious considering i had a bladder full of contrast dye, propel, and water. when i got to my checkup appt., my urologist informed me that i had to be recathed to prevent another rupture. despite the discomfort and general annoyance of having a bag of pee tied to my leg, i said "sign me up". i don't ever want to experience another bladder rupture...that was the worst pain i've ever felt not to mention that having an abdomen full of pee and blood led to a host of other complications and a long hospital stay.
so, i go back in monday to have the catheter taken out again. here's hoping i can pee this time. i am seriously freaked that something else is wrong and that i'll never be "normal"...i'm hoping it's all in my head.
so, here's a little status update. josh is doing better and better. he has pleurissy, which is related to his pneumonia, but it's subsiding slowly and his pain is decreasing slowly. my biggest fear right now is that he will overwork/stress himself right back into full blown pneumonia. it's my job to nag him into NOT doing that :-)
my recovery continues to plod along. i still have the catheter. correction...i have a new catheter. i had two appointments on tuesday...one to shoot dye into my bladder and x-ray it to check for position and for leaks. i passed that test with flying colors. so, they took my catheter out. OH SWEET RELIEF!!!! i then had another appointment 3.5 hours later for a general check up with my urologist. well, in that 3.5 hours, i was unable to pee. i also could not feel that my bladder was full nor did i have any urges to pee. all of this was quite suspicious considering i had a bladder full of contrast dye, propel, and water. when i got to my checkup appt., my urologist informed me that i had to be recathed to prevent another rupture. despite the discomfort and general annoyance of having a bag of pee tied to my leg, i said "sign me up". i don't ever want to experience another bladder rupture...that was the worst pain i've ever felt not to mention that having an abdomen full of pee and blood led to a host of other complications and a long hospital stay.
so, i go back in monday to have the catheter taken out again. here's hoping i can pee this time. i am seriously freaked that something else is wrong and that i'll never be "normal"...i'm hoping it's all in my head.
Friday, November 21, 2008
On the mend
This is Cheryl again. I had a quick chat with Lori today. She's home and hopefully on the mend. She was discharged from the hospital Monday the 17th. The pre-eclampsia is gone. There is still some fluid around her heart, so the docs gave her some symptoms to look out for. Hopefully it goes away soon. She goes in for a test on her bladder (she can correct me later if I'm wrong, but I think it's a cystogram) to make sure it doesn't have any leaks on Tuesday. She's hoping to get rid of her oh-so-pesky catheter then too -- yippee!!! She's still sore and tired (can't imagine why), but she's really glad to be home with her kiddos. As you can imagine, they aren't too fond of just letting mommy get some rest. :)
Update on Josh: he goes in for a CAT scan today (Friday) to see if he still has fluid on one of his lungs. If he does, then he'll likely need to go back in the hospital to have the fluid drained. Let's hope the fluid is gone and Josh can finally get a clean bill of health!
Lots of good, healthy vibes (and some baby sleeping and toddler calming vibes wouldn't hurt at this point) are flowing freely to their house. :)
Update on Josh: he goes in for a CAT scan today (Friday) to see if he still has fluid on one of his lungs. If he does, then he'll likely need to go back in the hospital to have the fluid drained. Let's hope the fluid is gone and Josh can finally get a clean bill of health!
Lots of good, healthy vibes (and some baby sleeping and toddler calming vibes wouldn't hurt at this point) are flowing freely to their house. :)
Friday, November 14, 2008
When it rains, it pours
This is Cheryl, guest blogging for Lori this week. It seems she has a good reason for not updating her blog since Monday (other than the daunting task of caring for a newborn and 2-year-old, all while healing from a c/s). I will let Lori give whichever gory details she chooses once she's back online, but for now I'll give the abbreviated version.
You may know she was in a lot of pain for days after coming home from the hospital. On Tuesday of this week, the pain became unbearable. Josh had been ill for a while, struggling with a bad cough too. So they called 911 to get Lori to the hospital. During the ambulance ride, it was assumed based on her history that her uterus had ruptured again. (Side note: did you know ambulances feel like they have virtually no suspension? Can I hear a collective "OW!!!" for Lori???)
Lori had emergency surgery on Tuesday to repair what turned out to be a ruptured bladder. Not sure when exactly the rupture happened. While she was in the ER, she was told that Josh was there too, but as a patient rather than a visitor. It seems Josh has pneumonia. What a romantic guy -- he'll do anything to have a date with his lovely wife. :) After a couple of days in the hospital, Josh is home now. Let's wish him a speedy recovery.
Pre-eclampsia has also reared its ugly head again. Apparently this is a mystery to everyone, including her docs, as this is typically seen during pregnancy, not after. She also has a cardiologist, since she has had issues with her heart rate and possibly some fluid around her heart. Hopefully they'll get some answers on that soon.
The best estimate from her docs so far is next Monday is the earliest she can go home, and possibly mid-week instead. When I talked to her this morning, she was in very good spirits for going through all that she is. She has an incredible group of family and friends who are helping take care of Livie and Quinn.
I know we all wish Lori (and Josh) a very swift and full recovery. Hopefully Lori will be home with her family soon, and will be entertaining us with her sharp wit and pictures of her beautiful kids. :)
You may know she was in a lot of pain for days after coming home from the hospital. On Tuesday of this week, the pain became unbearable. Josh had been ill for a while, struggling with a bad cough too. So they called 911 to get Lori to the hospital. During the ambulance ride, it was assumed based on her history that her uterus had ruptured again. (Side note: did you know ambulances feel like they have virtually no suspension? Can I hear a collective "OW!!!" for Lori???)
Lori had emergency surgery on Tuesday to repair what turned out to be a ruptured bladder. Not sure when exactly the rupture happened. While she was in the ER, she was told that Josh was there too, but as a patient rather than a visitor. It seems Josh has pneumonia. What a romantic guy -- he'll do anything to have a date with his lovely wife. :) After a couple of days in the hospital, Josh is home now. Let's wish him a speedy recovery.
Pre-eclampsia has also reared its ugly head again. Apparently this is a mystery to everyone, including her docs, as this is typically seen during pregnancy, not after. She also has a cardiologist, since she has had issues with her heart rate and possibly some fluid around her heart. Hopefully they'll get some answers on that soon.
The best estimate from her docs so far is next Monday is the earliest she can go home, and possibly mid-week instead. When I talked to her this morning, she was in very good spirits for going through all that she is. She has an incredible group of family and friends who are helping take care of Livie and Quinn.
I know we all wish Lori (and Josh) a very swift and full recovery. Hopefully Lori will be home with her family soon, and will be entertaining us with her sharp wit and pictures of her beautiful kids. :)
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